Guest Spot: Am I Making the Wrong Choice?
Musings on decisions: the permanence and simultaneous uncertainty of them.
Since I created this newsletter, I’ve wanted to share stories and perspectives from others, both because there’s value in hearing the experiences of others and because I’m sure some of you might get sick of me droning on about the same problems all the time. I put out a request for submissions on my Instagram, and a few (totally awesome) people responded. If you’d like to submit your story, perspective, or thoughts, please email me at valcedrone@gmail.com!
Today, I’m so excited to share the first guest spot on this newsletter. We'll be hearing from Rob, a friend of mine and much appreciated supporter of Is This All There Is? Read & enjoy!
One of the most uncomfortable parts of navigating my twenties is not being able to know the difference between right choices and wrong choices. It is quite literally a constant headache. With infinite options constantly at my disposal, I want to choose the right one. How do I know which one is right for me? Down the rabbit-hole I go — overthinking to the point of paralysis, and no progress is made.
This reflexive overthinking knows no bounds. It creeps into every aspect of my life regardless of subject. Deciding what to watch? Deciding what to eat? Want to know how to take care of yourself? What should my next career goal be?
With no mentor or guidance to navigate the prolific amount of information available to me, the only yardstick I have to measure myself is that of others who seem like me on — you guessed it — social media.
Through a vicious cycle of seeing the accomplishments of others, setting lofty goals because I know no better, then failing to meet those goals, I have created the most perfect loop of self-destruction. Accountability, the lack thereof, is a massive issue as I’m totally incapable of holding myself accountable to any goals I set for myself.
This has been my experience since leaving college. Since then, I have learned that I know very little and, above all else, that I must accept my limitations. Perhaps knowing that you don’t know is the most useful information.
I wish that I had a story to share to guide someone else through a journey that may be similar to mine. But I do not have one. There have been only a few times where I had to make difficult decisions. Looking back, it actually seems as though the most critical turning points happened to me and were out of my control. If there is one thing I realized may be the answer to what I’m experiencing, it is exactly that: control. Control over myself, my thoughts and my actions. And I can’t. The greatest minds of our generation are at work to strip that away from me and they’ve done an incredible job. Most of the pivotal junctures in my life as a twenty-something didn’t arrive as these grand, sword-waving moments but as long, consistent, concerted efforts over long periods of time to make positive changes. Consistently tending to oneself may be the way out of this and if I make it to the other side of where I am now, that’ll be the story I’d like to tell.
Until then, I’m right here with any of you like me. And I’m very fortunate to know the author of the wonderful articles posted here and have an opportunity like this to share my experience. I’m glad we can share these thoughts and feelings in the hopes others can muster that courage to keep going and tend to themselves.
-Rob, 25, Compulsive Overthinker